VERY YOUNG CHUBBY GAY PORN FULL
In a sea full of slim, attractive and confident men – the only fat gay person was singled out as unacceptable in their world, and sadly over the past 22 years since I came out, I have found myself told again and again that, outside small sections of the community, the place of fat gay people in the is out of sight, devoid of sexuality and thankful for any positive attention we receive.Īs I have worked through a nesting doll of interconnected traumas over the past 18 months, I have been able to sit down with that teenage boy, who felt like his identity and body merged to create a prison where he wasn’t really wanted and couldn’t truly be loved. Over time they were be joined by children screaming insults at me from the side of the road, groups of guys mocking me on the dance floor in the George, sceptical staff in clothes shops, acquaintances expressing concern for my “health”, and an endless stream of media and online commentators reinforcing feelings of worthlessness, shame and looking at my body and asking ‘why have I done this to myself.’Īt the age of 17, in 1999, Queer as Folk premiered, it was the first time I’d ever seen gay people on screen and I was transfixed – I but it wasn’t ‘that’ scene with Stuart and Nathan, or the colour of Canal Street that I stayed with me, it was instant disgust on Vince’s face when the man he’d taken home reveals himself to have a belly. With that, they joined a crowd of people who would walk alongside me for the rest of my life reminding me that my body was a problem and that I was a problem because of it. This had been the only silver lining in being sent to an all-boys school as a child who most definitely did not flourish in the all-male company.Įarly in First year, as part of a sports day, as I awaited my turn I overheard the three other boys on my team complaining loudly to the swimming instructor that it wasn’t fair that they’d been ‘stuck with O’Hagan’, the instructor sympathised with them and suggested they ‘let the fat lad go first’ and hope they ‘didn’t have too much ground to make up’.
The reality was that I had been excited to go to a school with a swimming pool. When the subject of the swimming pool came up, I’d say that it was too much hassle to bring swim gear – what with the hectic schedule of being a shy, confused, and friendless teenager living in the countryside I just didn’t have the time to put a towel in my bag! Or I’d claim I didn’t like swimming in the first place.īut that was a lie, I loved swimming – my mother has endless stories of me spending hours upon hours in the sea on family holidays, or my near-constant nagging to be brought to swimming pools as a child. They ignored the fact over my final two years in primary school my more expressive and effeminate behaviour had me a target for casual cruelty and bullying from classmates, and that in the space of about a year I’d lost all of my confidence and gained several stones. A phenomenal amenity, and right at my doorstep as I was reminded repeatedly by a chorus of well-meaning adults as they either directly or indirectly suggested that as a teenager, I probably shouldn’t be so fat. I went to a rather bougie secondary school, one with its own swimming pool. James O’Hagan penned this piece for GCN to share his experiences and what prompted him to share an Instagram post titled ‘I’m fat, I’m gay and I’m fed up.’